Archive for April 9th, 2005

For the time being, since I seem to have a whopping two subscribers, both of whom know my situation, I think I can discuss it fairly freely here.

Thanks to both of you for your insight and comments. If it were a question of sinfulness, yes, being made aware of it would be a very good thing, painful though it might be. What’s more painful is the frustration, as one of you so accurately pinpointed, of having to apologize for an offense inadvertently given — that’s nothing, we all do that — but not having it accepted, and also, the notion that the remarks I made were a deliberate attempt at character assassination. Once people put their own spin on your actions, nothing you say or do makes any difference; and as you both know, this is an important relationship in my life.

I’m glad, too, to have the input on silence not being a good thing, since the description of “bad” silence — a prison — is exactly what this is becoming: a place to be stuck in, where my letters are not answered and my phone calls not returned, and I just don’t know where else to go from here.

The answer, I guess, is patience, the hope that over time, being distanced from me will get to be more of a disadvantage than an advantage. I do have one ace in the hole: my son’s favorite recipes. (The way to a man’s heart…) I used to share them, but have by no means given them all out, so when he gets sick of having the same five recipes over and over, maybe then I’ll hear from his Significant Other. But at this point, as things stand, I don’t see what else I can do for these people, and racking my brains for a solution is wearing, to say the least.

Thanks, ladies — your input was a big help.

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