Archive for May, 2005

The inevitable has happened: My son and his girlfriend have broken up. I found out by reading his blog (he knows I subscribe), and the whole thing was about what a jerk he is.

So I called him. I’m worried about him; he’s out there in PA all by himself, now that Tootsie has broken off their relationship, and I was hoping to find out what had happened.

Are you ready for this?

When they were sharing a home (not “living together,” since there was never anything sexual about their relationship), she complained that he “wasn’t doing enough around the house.” These were the days when he was working 70 hours a week as a bus driver, so fatigued that one day he actually ran a red light; then, when he got his railroad job, he was commuting 90 minutes to work and 90 minutes back home. Not to mention all the snow-shovelling he did this past winter, which I know about because she wrote about it on *her* blog.

Now that he has his own place, she’s upset because he Doesn’t Communicate with her. So she writes him an e-mail to break off their relationship. This is communication?!?!

This is the same girl who got upset with me because I posted to the list that she had never had any men in her life, as far as living with one went.

This is the same girl who, get this, didn’t want us to come and visit our son for his birthday because she was still so upset with me over the “awful things” I had posted to the OrthWomen’s list.

This is the same girl who goes to bed at six in the morning, and gets up at two in the afternoon. No job, she Just Doesn’t Sleep Well at Night.

And my son is walking around feeling like a jerk?!?!

It’s taking all my self-control not to e-mail her and LET HER HAVE IT!!!!!

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Description of May 17th:

Wedding: $300 or so, including the gown, the rings, and the food for the reception (it was 1969, my dad was on strike, so we held the reception at the house).

Honeymoon: $200 or so (we stayed at the weekend home of my husband’s cousin).

Three years in Germany: free (he was in the service).

First home: $250/mo. rent, plus, let’s see, I think $750 for the furniture (bedroom suite, sofa, and kitchen table and chairs. Everything else we cadged from the homes we had grown up in).

Kids: Don’t even go there. One moved out at 24, the other at 25, so figure 29 years’ worth of exponentially increasing expenses. My only regret: not having more kids.

36 years together: priceless.

And now, as the Buddhists say: After ecstasy, the laundry. Not that I mind doing laundry. Just coming down off the high of the past three days of having that Special Someone all to myself. Why read Anna Karenina, the story of adultery and its fruits, when I can read about one of the greatest love affairs of all time?

Currently Reading: Nicholas and Alexandra

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1. I always knew my kids would grow up and move out. I just wish they had moved out closer.

2. Looking around this house, I can see that it was time for them to move out when they did. Actually, it was time for them to move out before they did. You really do outgrow a house.

3. I wonder if everything important in life assumes an air of unreality when it’s over. I’m having a hard time believing I ever actually lived in Germany. I’m having a hard time believing we ever shared this house with two other people.

4. I guess that, although it was time for them to move out, I would have liked to know them better as adults before they did.

5. Rooms that seemed so big when you were small, become so small once you’re big.

6. Overall, I can’t think of anything I’d change in my motherhood techniques, such as they were. They weren’t perfect, but they did produce two spectacular people.

7. I do wish we had played more board games as a family.

8. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. Even when you do see them, they have become such different people that you wonder if this is the same person you shared a life with.

9. If I had known these things when I was younger, I wonder if I would have been nicer to my mother.

10. On the other hand, I wonder if my mother would have been nicer to me, if she had realized these things when she was younger.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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Well, it rained last night, so I missed the Resurrection service, too. I must admit that was a mixed curse, since, as a morning person, the midnight services has always been especially rough on me. But the sheer beauty and joy of it has always carried me through. Not this year, though.

On the other hand, I woke up a lot during the night. And every time I woke up, I’d think, “Christ is risen!” smile, and go back to sleep. Now it’s 5:00 a.m. (5-ish, anyway), and I’m up for the day.

Spent yesterday baking two kulichi, that Russian Easter bread that is full of all the cholesterol we’ve been denying ourselves for seven weeks, all the butter and eggs (for cream and cheese, there’s the pascha, which also has butter in it). The one kulich is for the Agape Vespers my parish in Saco is having; everyone was invited to bring something special from their paschal tradition, and since the parish is now about 70% Greek and 30% convert, there’s at least a chance we’ll get something other than roast lamb and baklava. Like, well, pascha and kulich.

The second kulich is something I was asked to do at the beginning of the semester. Every Monday afternoon, my Russian class holds something called “chaipitye,” or tea-drinking, which is supposed to be a chance for us to sample Russian food and talk about Russian topics (in English, thankfully!). I was asked if I could provide something paschal for this meal. I e-mailed my one Russian prof yesterday as it was baking, and this morning, her comment: “My mouth is watering just reading this. I cannot wait to taste everything.” The irony is, this particular professor is Jewish — non-practicing, at that — and my other professor is an out-and-out communist. I should see if I can find an icon of the Resurrection online, and print out and bring that along with a couple of my other icons. After all, this is an Orthodox feast. (I am so bad.)

CHRIST IS RISEN! TRULY HE IS RISEN!! Best news I’ve had all year.

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