When I first started my internet life, back around October of 2000, I had just been “fired” from a volunteer position. How do you fire a volunteer? You tell her to stop showing up. You don’t give her any of the work she used to do. And you make it very, very clear that you want her to disappear.
So I did, and spiralled into a first-class depression. I have never, in all my life, been fired, and to be cut out of a volunteer position was — it wasn’t even humiliating. After all, humiliation can be a good teacher. It was like being hit by an 18-wheeler. What happened? Ohhh — call it a personality conflict, though I strongly suspect that the person doing the firing had another person in mind for the job altogether, especially since, not two months after I was “fired,” this other person showed up in my old spot, sweet and smug (and not nearly as good a proofreader as I am. C’mon, I had to say it).
So I have lived the last seven years of my life online, and built up a base of friendships I only wish I had in person. I would love to sit and chat with every one of you, which highlights the biggest drawback of the internet: We can’t see each other. But apart from that, being “fired” was, in retrospect, a good experience — I would never have met any of you otherwise.
Why am I bringing this up now?
Because I just got my old job back.
New priest — yep, I was the parish secretary — new relationship, and over the past seven years, I’ve had a chance to learn more about how Orthodox parish life works. I’ve learned, primarily, that there is no such thing as a unilateral decision, that every single thing you think might be a good option has to be flown by somebody — the priest or the Parish Council at the very least, and if you can work a few yiayias or babushki into it, that’s even better.
What this means for my internet life — well, I don’t expect it to change all that much. For one thing, seven years ago, I was putting a very great deal of time into the job because it had to be created from scratch. There was no database of parishioners, there was no mailing list, there was (believe it or not) no adequate filing system — bills were piled into folders labelled by month, if you can believe that — the priest didn’t even have a Rolodex. I created all that, and it doesn’t need to be re-created.
So I expect that this time around, my job will entail much less: the Sunday bulletin, the monthly newsletter, and a little filing here and there. I will still have time for the things that matter, my home and family and friends, and my cross stitch.
But I am still bemused. Losing this job seven years ago hurt, incredibly. I still don’t really know the why of it. Back then, it was a much-needed — make that desperately-needed — filler for the huge hole left in my life when our daughter got married. She is such a live wire that losing her was like losing four kids at once, and I really needed the “noise” that the job provided. And now…
Now, I find myself hoping that it won’t prove to be an interference in my life.
But I still want it.
Am I making any sense at all?!
Congratulations on getting the old position back… may it be smoother for you this go around – and may you enjoy it!
I’m with Catherine on this one – prayers for a smooth transition and a harmonious working environment !
Well isn’t that interesting? I have conflicting feelings Mrs. Muttonings.
On the one hand I want to say, “Lucky you! My dream job!”
On the other hand I want to say, “Run as fast as you can!” Why? Because I am afraid that there will be disappointment in the future as you get to know your priest better and really see him in action. Because being the gatekeeper can be a tough job. Because I am afraid it will wreck havoc with your prayer life.
So what I am really gonna end up saying is, “COOL! More blog fodder…to a certain extent!” And “May God bless you!”
Have a good time! Many hugs!
I hear you all, but Philippa, your post resonates most with me. I’ve been the gatekeeper already, and it wasn’t that difficult — screen the crackpots who think we’re a social-service agency, be on hand to manage people who come to service the office equipment, and let Father handle all the parishioners. That’s not the part that worries me.
Nor do I fear disappointment. This priest continues to amaze me with his sense of spirituality, combined with his enormous practicality, combined with a super-refined sensitivity to people that I haven’t seen in a priest since the really “old” one retired over ten years ago. (“Old” as in “former” — although he’s now 77, he is still serving as a priest, albeit in a parish made up largely of retirees. We’ve had two others since him — Fr. Costin is the third.) With the other two priests, Fr. Dean and Fr. Constantine, I had a pretty good sense of them by this time (nine months into their stewardship of the parish), what was important to them and where there were conflicts between their goals and mine. And with Fr. Costin — there just are no conflicts.
As for my prayer life, hey, it can’t get any worse. After the surgery, I literally had no energy to pray, and then, with Jim staying home so much and the tension between us when I pray, I ended up not praying an awful lot anyway. Add to that a Russian class that began at 8:00 a.m., and in effect, my prayer life has been non-existent. It can *only* get better from here.
No, I just… It took a long, long time, but I finally have a life outside of church, and happy as I am to be back in my parish, I don’t want that life to get out of whack. I *enjoy* office work. I can see me finding more and more things to do, just because I like office work so much. I don’t want it to get to that point, and I don’t want conflicts between my husband and me because he thinks I’m spending too much time at church. On that subject, I’m rather like the old babushka who was asked by a Western tourist, “How the heck long does this service [Liturgy] last?!” To which she replied, “You’re with God, what do you care how long it lasts?!” Jim is your basic Mass-in-20-minutes-or-less Catholic.
So I do have concerns, but — well, we’ll give it a try. Thanks for the prayers — obviously, I can really use them!